


Magic In The Air, Tonight

by moongirl24



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-06 10:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/417588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongirl24/pseuds/moongirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Noah comes back to Oakdale for Christmas, Luke doesn’t quite know how to act around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magic In The Air, Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Badly Drawn Boy’s song Magic In The Air.

When Noah told him that he was coming home to Oakdale for Christmas, Luke felt something flutter in his stomach for the first time in a long time.  
  
It was a curious feeling. Somehow, it felt both new and familiar all at the same time. It was like something was stirring to life inside of him after having been asleep for a very long time.  
  
Luke thought how good it was to be feeling something other than numbness, for a change.  
  
Noah arrived on the morning of Christmas Eve, to the usual, chaotic Snyder mess. The kids were all over him as always, and Noah lifted a waiting Ethan high up into his arms and received hugs from Holden and Lily, who told him how good it was to have him home.  
  
Luke stayed back, feeling nervous and insecure all of a sudden. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act around Noah anymore. He used to think that he knew Noah better than anyone, but he wasn’t so sure if that was really the case now. They hadn’t been together in a year, not seen each other at all in more than three months. They talked on the phone sometimes and texted a lot, and Noah had this amazing ability of always making Luke feel like he was right _there_ when he needed him, even if in reality, he was thousands of miles away.  
  
But the Noah that had walked through the door a few minutes earlier, seemed different than Luke remembered him. For one, he was much more tanned, which Luke supposed was only natural, and he had let his hair grow slightly longer than usual, giving him a more disheveled and laid-back (and sexy, Luke had to admit) appearance. But the biggest change seemed to have happened on the inside. Noah radiated more confidence now, and he seemed surer of himself and less guarded than he used to be. He no longer gave the impression of the dorky, slightly awkward boy that Luke had fallen in love with all that time ago. He was a man.  
  
A _really_ hot one, at that.  
  
And somehow, Luke had failed to notice that change in Noah until now. He wasn’t even sure if it had happened while Noah was still living in Oakdale or during his three months in L.A.  
  
Luke was suddenly aware that he was staring. He looked down, willing his heart to stop beating so fast.  
  
And then suddenly Noah was right there.  
  
“Luke”, he said softly, in that deep, rich voice of his.  
  
Luke looked up into those blue, blue eyes, still the same ones that he remembered and loved. He took in Noah’s appearance once more, this time noticing all the familiar things. Those eyes, that smile, the way he made Luke feel like he was the only person in the world, or maybe the entire universe… and Luke didn’t know how it happened or who moved first, but suddenly he was in Noah’s arms, being held the way he had been longing to be held for so long.  
  
Something seemed to fall into place. Because these arms were still the same, familiar ones that he knew so well. That wrapped him up completely and made him feel like he belonged there.  
  
Luke closed his eyes and allowed himself to stay there for a while. And Noah made no attempt to move – not before Natalie managed to pull him away. Apparently she needed to show him something _right now_ and couldn’t wait a second longer. Luke glared at her, but she had already launched into a story about something or another, and was too busy to notice. Noah sent him a brief smile and an apologetic look, before following Natalie out of the room.  
  
The day went on in a hectic blur of activity after that. Luke didn’t get a chance to really talk to Noah at all. He didn’t know whether to feel disappointed or relieved about it. He longed to talk to Noah, to _really_ talk to him – but at the same time he didn’t know what to say. And lately he just hadn’t felt very good with words. Words used to be his thing, his weapon and sometimes, he had to admit, his curse. It used to be something he was comfortable with. But now… now even the words seemed to fail him.  
  
In the end it was Noah who took the initiative.  
  
“Do you want to go for a walk, Luke?” he asked after dinner, after he had helped Lily clean up the kitchen and after Luke had put Ethan to bed. The rest of the family was hanging out in the living room and Luke realized all of a sudden, that this was the first private moment he and Noah had shared all day.  
  
He didn’t want it to end.  
  
He looked up at Noah, who now looked a little less confident than before. For some reason it was a relief to discover that. Luke nodded.  
  
“Yeah, a walk would be… nice.”  
  
 _Nice._ Really? That’s all he could come up with? He mentally kicked himself, and opened his mouth to say something, _anything_ other than ‘nice’, but Noah beat him to it, seemingly unaware of Luke’s inner discussion.  
  
“Great,” he said, a smile breaking out, making him look more gorgeous than should have been possible. “I’ll get our coats.”  
  
Noah disappeared, leaving Luke standing there, feeling a little dazed. Once more that feeling of no longer knowing where he stood with Noah washed over him. But he didn’t get any time to dwell on it, because Noah was back a minute later, handing Luke his winter coat. They dressed in silence and walked to the door, Noah opening it and motioning for Luke to step through first.  
  
Outside it was dark, but not too cold. There seemed to be snow in the air – or maybe that was just wishful thinking on Luke’s part. He had been hoping for a white Christmas, but so far his wish hadn’t come true.  
  
They walked slowly down the road, still not talking. It was kind of nice, actually. One of the good things about Noah was that even being quiet felt comfortable with him. Luke felt himself relax a little. He had always been able to be himself around Noah. Why should that be any different now?  
  
“So, are you regretting the decision to come home for Christmas yet?” he asked with a little laugh. “The chaos seems to get worse every year.”  
  
Noah chuckled. “I know what you mean,” he said. “But no, I don’t regret it. I like the chaos. It’s one of the things I’ve missed the most, believe it or not.”  
  
Luke smiled to himself. He actually believed that. Noah had always loved spending time with the family, especially around Christmas.  
  
“So how are you doing, Luke?” Noah asked, looking at him as they walked. “I mean, _really_ doing.”  
  
“I’m fine,” Luke said automatically, looking away. It was the standard reply he gave whenever someone wanted to know how he was doing. It seemed to be what most of them wanted to hear. But Noah threw him a skeptical look, clearly not buying it, and Luke knew it was pointless to try and lie to him. He didn’t even want to, actually. Not with Noah. So he sighed, and looked back at Noah. “Okay then, maybe I’m not _fine_ , exactly. But I’m doing a whole lot better than I did three months ago.”  
  
That was the truth at least, and Noah seemed to believe it because he was nodding slowly. “Do you miss him?” he asked quietly.  
  
Luke shrugged. “Yeah,” he mumbled, figuring he might as well stick with the truth. Then he looked at Noah again. “And I miss you. I miss you a lot.”  
  
“I miss you too,” Noah said, catching Luke’s gaze. “I’m glad we can be friends now and that we keep in touch, but I just… it’s not the same as having you around.”  
  
Luke agreed wholeheartedly. It was definitely not the same to only talk to Noah on the phone. Hearing his voice was always wonderful, but not being able to see him or touch him or just feel his presence… It was like something was always missing.  
  
Luke slowed his steps, and then stopped completely. There was something he really needed to know and this seemed like the right moment to find out. He turned to Noah, who had also stopped and was now looking expectantly at Luke.  
  
“Are you still…,” Luke began, but then he didn’t know how to finish that sentence, so he tried again. “I mean… do you still want me to come to L.A?”  
  
Noah regarded him for a moment. Then he nodded. “Yeah… yeah, Luke, of course I do. There is nothing I want more. But… I don’t want to pressure you. I want you to come when you’re ready, if you want to.”  
  
Luke nodded, silently letting out a sigh of relief. “I want to,” he said quickly, and maybe a little too eagerly. He blushed and added, “I mean, eventually. But you’re right. I don’t think I’m ready yet.” He took a small step closer to Noah, and thought for a moment, searching for the right words to explain how he felt. “I’m still feeling really messed up and inadequate and just… _less_ than I know I can be. And I don’t want that for you, Noah. I want to be the best I can be for you, because that’s what you deserve.”  
  
Noah just stared at him for a moment, and Luke saw something he believed to be relief, and maybe wonder, in his eyes. He wasn’t sure, though. Noah finally nodded.  
  
“I understand that, Luke,” he said, “and I appreciate it, but… I love you. I love every part of you, every version of you. And I would help you find yourself again.”  
  
“I know you would, Noah,” Luke said, his voice cracking a little with emotion now. Noah was just too good to be true sometimes. “That’s one of the reasons I love you so much. But I think I need to do this by myself.” He looked up at Noah again. “And I know how busy you are with your movie right now. You wouldn’t have time for me anyway.”  
  
Noah, clearly recognizing the slightly teasing tone in Luke’s voice, smiled briefly, but he quickly turned serious again.  
  
“Luke, you always come first, I hope you know that,” he said quietly, and Luke swallowed because, yeah, he did know that, even though he needed to be reminded sometimes. Noah came first for him too. Luke knew now that that had never changed. “But,” Noah continued, “I know you’re not ready yet. And maybe I’m not quite ready, either. We hurt each other pretty badly and… Maybe we both need some time to find our way back to each other.”  
  
Luke nodded. “I think you are right. But I also think that… that maybe we just took the first step?” It came out as a question. Noah nodded, a soft smile slowly spreading.  
  
“I think so too,” he said. And then they just looked at each other for a while, smiling, almost a little shy.  
  
It was a really good feeling to know that they were finally on the same page again.  
  
The moment stretched out. Luke was the one who finally broke it, by ducking his head and clearing his throat, before looking up at Noah again.  
  
“You know, I almost felt kind of intimidated when you arrived at the house earlier,” he admitted.  
  
Noah looked surprised. “What? Why?” he asked, sounding almost shocked.  
  
Luke shrugged. “I don’t know, you look different. In a good way,” he hurried to add, “but different. Your hair is longer. And you seem more confident now.”  
  
Noah nodded. “I haven’t thought about that, but yeah, I suppose I am,” he said, contemplating. “Going to L.A. by myself has really forced me to grow up, even more than before. And so has working on the movie, I guess.” He broke into a grin. “And because I’ve been so busy with that, I haven’t found time to get a haircut, hence the longer hair.”  
  
“I like it,” Luke smiled. “I think you should keep it for a while.”  
  
“Maybe I will,” Noah said, returning his smile. Their eyes met once more, and again their gazes stayed locked for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably just a few seconds. Or maybe an hour. Who knew? This time Luke didn’t want to disrupt the moment. It had been so long since he and Noah had been able to be together like this, with no barriers between them, no walls. No unresolved issues. Just love.  
  
On impulse, Luke took one step closer and kissed Noah lightly on the lips. Like a promise. Maybe a ‘thank you’. Definitely an ‘I love you’.  
  
And the smile that Noah gave him when he pulled back told Luke everything he had ever needed to know.  
  
“Look, it’s snowing,” Noah whispered suddenly, his voice filled with awe.  
  
Luke looked up, and sure enough - white, feathery snowflakes were falling slowly from the dark sky. He reached out and caught one of them, watching as it slowly melted in the palm of his hand. There suddenly seemed to be a touch of magic in the air, like in a Christmas movie.  
  
Maybe they would get a white Christmas, after all.  
  
Luke leaned into Noah, resting his head against Noah’s shoulder. He loved how Noah wrapped his arms around him immediately, automatically. He supposed some things would never change. Like how naturally they fitted together or how they would always be drawn towards one another, like two pieces of a whole.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Luke,” Noah whispered.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Noah,” Luke replied, wrapping his arms tightly around Noah.  
  
Somehow, it felt like a new beginning.  
  
And maybe it was.


End file.
